Insecurity on the dance floor. Head miles. Anxiousness. Out of body tripping. Any of these sound familiar to you?
Let’s take a deeper look into what's actually happening when we feel anxious or insecure.I don’t really want to use either of these words particularly, because they feel loaded, people already have their own definitions and attachments to these words and what they mean. So if that’s you, and these words feel loaded, go beyond the word,and drop into your body.
I’m going to use the dancefloor as an example, but the dancefloor could just as easily be your walk to the grocery store, your first date, a yoga class, literally anywhere. For the purpose of this blog, the world is your dance floor.
So, let’s go back to the actual/ metaphorical dancefloor, whichever you feel most connected to right now...
You are dancing with someone, the music is beautiful, it’s a great night, up until this moment you have felt connected with yourself, and blissful. Out of nowhere you start to notice some strange thoughts popping up in your head. These could be anything. From ‘am I following/leading well?’, to ‘what kind of energy am I reading from this person?’, to ‘did I wear the right outfit for this event?’, to ‘what will I do for my lunch plans tomorrow?’ The mind comes in front and centre, and for whatever reason, it takes you into that spiral we have all visited, the spiral of insecurity.
Each of us have ‘insecurities’, no matter how well we may hide them, dress them up, and paint them. They lurk beneath our surface, and sometimes all we need is the delicacy of the slow kizomba embrace, the strange stillness of the dance, the potency of many people's energy fields interacting in one space to trigger an unravelling.
In this unravelling the insecurity takes front and centre. It may begin leading your dance. You may fly out of body, you may fly into the mind, you may indeed create an entire in depth story to consecrate your insecurity, and give it a nice back story and future projection.
If unchecked this insecurity will grow wild with power, enjoying being front and centre in the dance, it may even follow you home. It may visit you again the next day, asking you questions in your ear, and leaving you with a general sense of ‘unease’ in the body.
Oftentimes when working with insecurities in the field we address them from a purely mental or emotional perspective. What happens if we look at what's actually going on energetically?
When we are vibrating from a place of insecurity, this is not a bad thing. This is simply an invitation to refine even further the energetic calibration of your internal sphere. When we are vibrating and calibrating from a space of insecurity we have simply become disconnected momentarily from the truth of who we are.
The truth of who you are is source energy in a human body, and human body experiencing source energy. When you are connected to your essence you sense that you are much more than the sum of your parts. You deeply know you are not a bad dancer, unloveable, uncoordinated, badly dressed, or whatever it is the insecurity is printing in your field that day. The source of you knows this is completely untrue.
However when the insecurity loop begins we are given an opportunity to first of all breathe and step into observation.
Observe the mind, observe the story, observe the insecurity. From here gently invite yourself to DESCEND into the body. It will feel uncomfortable, you will feel the insecurity activated in the physical body. You may feel angry, or hot , or frustrated, sad or just ‘off’. Aguanta. Stay with it. Keep going into the body. Move if you feel it, be in stillness if you feel it. But stay with the body. Go deeper in, keep going deeper until you access that deeper you. The one who knows the truth. The one who knows what feels good for you. The one who sees you holistically. The one who feels your big presence. Focus here, and allow that part of you to expand. As you do, you can envelop that insecurity. You can wrap it in love. And as you watch it from the bigger you, it will get smaller, and smaller, and smaller, until it no longer takes up space in your field.
From this place of the bigger, deeper, and truer you, you know you are the creator of your field, and your experiences. These insecurities are beautiful invitations to go deeper into you, and allow a deeper refinement of your essence.
Remember this feeling, bottle it up as though it was a fine perfume. And so, the next time an insecurity visits. Do not fear it, do not shame it, do not make it wrong. Simply witness from above, descend, expand and with love, watch as your uniqueness and your powerful light casts no room for a shadow of a doubt of how already perfect, healed, and wonderful you are.
Much love
X Genevieve
